google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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