remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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