I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
