and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
