We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
