It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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