I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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