i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
