Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
