Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
