Ambien. No doubt about it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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