Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
