i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
