So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
