I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
