She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
