and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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