it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That accounts for only three of the penises
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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