We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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