The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
