ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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