So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
