is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
