THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
