Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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