Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
