Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
