after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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