So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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