Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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