Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize