Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
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Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
well you can't waste a boner
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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