Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
