You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
