I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
