Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
