Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
