i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
