we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
