I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
