it was like eating out sand paper
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
