Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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