So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
