it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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