You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
