C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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