..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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