She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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