Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
