There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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