Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize