i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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