I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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