I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize