Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
