a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
