she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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