I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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