We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm both gender and math confused
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
