Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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