Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
