His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved