i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
